Friday, January 6, 2006

[Read with Morgan Freeman-esque timbre]

Presenting an Organization that knows the little "ding" makes all the difference, it’s the Brown University "Ice Ice Bandie" Band!

[Band skates on]

This is the story about hardship. About persistence. About losing flutes to all consuming voids. About going that extra mile outside of your comfort zone just to see if hurts, and if you like it. But most of all, it’s a story about love. It’s the March of the Bandies. Life for the band in this frozen tundra is harsh. The band will travel several blocks in the midst of old man winter’s grasp for Bruno and For Brown and for the ever-elusive taste of bagels or Ronzio’s. On this trek the band will suffer many losses. Those that don’t succumb to the cold, will face the relentless wrath of the ever-pervasive Crimson –tide. Suffocating bandies unarmed with the proper winged absorptive armaments, the crimson tide consumes all that is funky and fly about the brown bandie, leaving a withered and hopelessly nerdy corpse to roam the Earth shouting EEEEEE. Watch now as the band forms its protection and shouts "rescue me."

[Band forms Absorptive shield and plays Rescue me]

Having lost the weaker members of its group from the attack, the Brown Band forges on with determination. Avoiding the omnipresence of the horrid, reckless RI drivers, the Brown Band grazes on the little liquid happiness and ruffage it has secured for the trip. Chanting "WE WANT MORE," the band rallies the energy for final stretch. This more often than not sidetracks the band into various and assorted polygames and indulgences of perspirative poking. Watch now as the band conducts this disorderly and haphazard event playing Crazy train."

[Band Forms Amorphous Blob and plays Crazy Train.]

After 3 deaths in the flute section, the loss of a quick-cursing curly-locked New Yorker and Bari player, the disposal of several soggy pads, a personally painful narwhal backside attack, and 20 minutes of walking, the Band is almost at its destination. As the Bandies approach, dreaded hand of Meehan looms in front. Limping with fervor, the remaining bandies face their final challenge: The Counter-skate. If done correctly all will survive free of injury. If they fail..well lets not talk about that. So lets watch the Bandies "In the Fray"

[Counterskate into B. In the Fray]

Miraculously, they succeeded. And will go on to skate another day. Who know what the future will hold for the shabbily dressed misfits of the Brown University Band. I DO! Come to the women’s Basketball game tomorrow vs. Princeton to find out.

[#1 off the ice]