Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that
flosses daily, it's the Brown University "say ahhh!!!" (band says "aaaah") Band!
(Band skates on to the ice)
To maintain the integrity of our humor the brown band pledges to make no
jokes about toothpaste or the recent presidential election. In fact, we
resolve to place all of our toothpaste and election jokes in a lockbox,
where they will be safe for the next fifty years. We'll try to focus on
hockey for now.
9 out of 10 hockey seasons prove that the Colgate team has trouble
protecting behind the blue line; The new contoured head of the Brown
offense, however, complete with ribbed bristles, can give maximum access
into those hard-to-reach crevices, while the Brown defense brushes away the
unsightly red raider buildup. Watch now as the band cleans up that big,
sticky mess and plays "Don't Build Me Up, Buttercup."
(Band does funky smile thing and plays buttercup)
As effective as our Brown team may be, for those really tough cleanup jobs
there's just no substitute for high-powered explosives. In fact, some of the
toughest cleanup jobs in history have involved high-powerd explosives on the
beaches of our fine nation. Watch now as the band pays tribute to the Coast
Guard's dinamyte ingenuity and plays "You Can Call Me Ishmael"
(Band forms exploding whale and plays "Al")
Look, ma, no more whale! Now that we've cleaned things up we'd like to
invite the Colgate team to a conciliatory banquet of whale meat, sugar-free
gum, and vegan brown rice pilaf, guaranteed to leave your teeth shiny and
white. Watch now as the band forms a B for "brush regularly" and plays
For Bruno and For Brown.
(Band does this)
Join us for next week's basketball game as the Brown Bears take on the
Columbia Lions in the Pizzatola gym.
(Band leaves to Ever True)