Ice Hockey - Brown vs. St. Lawrence
Friday, March 5, 1993
Ladies and gentleman, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that some call the fourth branch of government: it's the Brown University, a charter member of the Friends of Bill club, BAND!!!!!
(Band sprints onto the ice in a burst of taxing and spending.)
America under siege, day 44. Yes, that's right, it's been 34 days since those of us counting ran out of fingers. Not to worry - Rush Limbaugh will keep track for us. Here's a question to ponder: What do the following things have in common? Snow, a blank sheet of typing paper, the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, our pants, and Rush Limbaugh's audience. That's right Cliff - none of them have ever been in my kitchen. By the way, has anyone ever seen Rush and Pat Buchanan in the same place at the same time? Or for that matter, how about Larry King and Paul "why the bow tie" Simon? And when was the last time anyone saw the St. Lawrence Band? But who can blame them for not wanting to leave the luxury of warm, sunny Canton, where the snow is hard but the school is easy. Watch now as the Band shows you the way things ought to be and plays "White Power is Dead".
(Band forms a hammer and sickle and plays "Black Coffee in Bed.")
Being the nation's best and only skating band can sometimes be a lonely job. So we like to amuse ourselves by constantly coming up with new ways to narrowly avoid catastrophes on the ice. Watch now as the band tempts the fates yet again and counterskates to the tune of "Swing Me, Hillary."
(Band counterskates while playing "Bring the Victory.")
We in the band regret to inform you that this will be our last skating show of the season. (pause while band collectively says "awww," hopefully inspiring what's left of the crowd to do likewise) But fear not, for we shall return next year with new tunes and better housing lottery numbers.
(Band forms B if they haven't already done so and plays Ever True.)